


Markimoo and You

by Azels



Category: markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Love, Male-Female Friendship, Reader-Insert, Slow Build, YouTube
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-06 03:38:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5401580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azels/pseuds/Azels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It only took one tiny block of chocolate and a mistaken blue flannel to completely change your life that Wednesday night. I mean who needs cupid when you have Brocolli?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh no, oh fucking arse head and hole” you think as you sprint into PetSmart at 11 o’clock at night. You briefly wonder why it’s still open then you remember, it must be for stupid, moronic and utterly idiotic people like yourself. You know dogs can’t eat chocolate, but turtles? Turtles can live to 100, how can one bloody piece of chocolate harm them? To make it worse, you remind yourself, it’s not even your turtle, it’s only your best friends, his prized possession and his “child” as you’ve heard him mumble before. Snapping out of your stupor, you realise you’ve been running aimlessly around the store, not really looking at anything, just too caught up in your panic. Taking a deep breath, you slow to a stop and gingerly shake the cardboard box you are carrying while scanning the store for a worker. Bingo. You see a man bent over in the blue uniform, maybe restocking pet food and begin to walk towards them, tension bubbling stronger and stronger the closer you get. You’re almost jogging by the time you reach him and while you told yourself to keep calm, it doesn’t work. You move to tap him on the shoulder and he turns to look at you, a bright smile on his face.

While you aim to be calm and composed, you can’t help the inevitable word vomit that follows. “Ohmygodmisteryouhavetohelpmeplease! I was sitting on the couch with Broccoli watching TV when he suddenly snapped up a piece of chocolate, I mean I know dogs can’t eat chocolate but y’know turtles live forever, if food killed them that easily they couldn’t die right? But then he stopped moving and ohmygod it’s not mine, and you have to help what do I so? He absolutely cannot die. Please help” and with that, you thrust the box into his hands.

You look up to the man, to see the most bemused expression on a person you have perhaps ever seen. “How on earth can a Broccoli eat chocolate? Also I don’- Jesus Christ what the hell is in this box?! Why is it moving??” a surprisingly deep voice answers you with audible worry.

“Weren’t you listening? It’s a turtle and he’s dying ohmygosh help me please” you plead, feeling close to tears.

“Oh that’s what’s in the box” he visibly calms before continuing “well I would love to but I know nothing about turtles, maybe ask someone who works here? I’m just getting some dog food.” Looking over the man, you realise he is indeed not wearing the PetSmart uniform, but a dark blue flannel.

Even in your state of panic you feel mortifyingly embarrassed at what you had just done. You had harassed some poor customer on a Wednesday evening just because in your panic you thought his perfectly casual blue shirt was the uniform. “I – I’m sorry” stuttering as you take your turtle back.

His look of confusion is once again replaced with a bright smile “oh it’s no problem, I’ll help you find a worker? You seem pretty worried” as he begins to walk towards the cash register. Cautioning a peek into the box you see Broccoli, lying flat on his stomach and weakly scratching the bottom of the box with his leg. You release the breath you didn’t realise you were holding as you look up and see the man leading back an actual employee, blue uniform and all. Allowing yourself a quick smile at the kind stranger you explain what happened to the worker. Five minutes later and too much money to think about you own a pill that should make Broccoli throw up, getting rid of the chocolate, and in theory, fixing him. Now you’ve never been able to deal with vomit, yet when you see that tiny reptile barf his little heart out, you could not be gladder as you decide to yourself never to tell your friend about this –shit it was already midnight- adventure.

You profusely thank the tired looking worker as she nods to you before heading towards the counter again. Now completely calm, you begin to search for the kind stranger who helped you, hoping he had not yet left. Remembering something about dog food, sure enough he is back in that aisle, seemingly in deep concentration about which brand to purchase. Once again, you tap him on the shoulder “hey I just wanted to thank you, I was in such a panic I must have not only freaked you out with my crazy turtle lady rant but you were able to find me help, which I don’t think I could have done at that time.”

“Why no trouble at all m’lady, always willing to help a damsel and her wonderful turtle in distress. Although I must admit I’m curious, what type of chocolate was so worth nearly dying over that this fella had to try some?” he smiled at me.

Now over your panic, you finally had a chance to look at him, and damn, how had you not before? He has dark hair, with the top being what you can only assume a faded pink, cute as glasses encasing a set of warm brown eyes, dark stubble handsomely framing his well-tanned face and well-toned arms, quite frankly you thought, he’s bloody gorgeous, yet slightly familiar, where had you seen him before? He clears his throat slightly as you realise that you’ve been staring and failed to answer his question “oh umm, it was a mixed bar and I put some aside that I didn’t want but oh that wasn’t your question. It was white chocolate, I can’t stand it...” You trail off, realising you’re rambling.

Unexpectedly, he bursts out laughing, “What a shitty way to go! Oh my god, his first and last experience with chocolate would’ve been white, he’d never know chocolate could actually taste good. Poor turtle, I’m glad he lived.” Still quietly chuckling to himself.

“Hahah yeah the only worse way I can think to go might be, well actually I don’t think there’s anything worse than that, but seriously I do want to thank you. Not many strangers would have helped me after a stranger shoved a box full of turtle at them at 11 at night. Maybe I could buy your pet food for you? What type of dog do you have?”

The man, you still don’t know his name, looks touched at your suggestion as a faint pink washes over his face “I have a golden retriever puppy named Chica, she’s the most adorable thing ever” he says enthusiastically.

“Well then it’s settled, I won’t hear objections either, I’m buying your lovely pup some food, and maybe you too sometime in the day? You have no idea how important this turtle is. It’s like the president, I would take a bullet for this thing.” You chuckle yet half way through progress into yawning. Glancing at your watch you see the time, 12:15 am. You grab the pet food and begin walking towards the cash register, glancing back at the man, noticing he was yawning as well and again, you get the sense you’ve seen him before as you pay and head out of the shop.

Walking slightly behind you, he smiles warmly “I’d love to, thanks…?” he leaves you to answer.

“Oh, it’s [y/n], do you maybe want my phone number? We could go out for coffee or lunch? My official thank you treat.” He nods as you read out your number and pass him the bag of dogfood. After finishing this, he laughs quietly as you ask “what’s that for?”

He shakes his head slightly and smiles “it’s just nice to meet someone who doesn’t know.”

“Doesn’t know what?” you ask, curiosity piqued as the feeling of familiarity gets stronger and stronger. He merely taps his finger to his nose and says goodnight, turning to walk towards his car. With one final yawn, you bid him goodnight and start walking towards your car again, cardboard box in hand as you wonder what he had meant. As you unlock and step into the car, your phone buzzes in your pocket:

To: [y/n]  
From: Unknown  
It’s Mark by the way :)

Entering him into your contacts, it suddenly hits you. You remember why he seems so familiar, you recognise him. You were just talking to Markiplier.


	2. Midnight Pacing

“Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to -” you pause the video, looking at the now frozen face you’d been speaking to only an hour earlier. Same voice, same face, even the same blue flannel for God’s sake, how were you so stupid? You didn’t watch him very much at all, but at least you now understand what he meant when he said you “didn’t know”. It was probably refreshing for him not to meet another crazy fangirl desperate to invade his personal space. You groan as you check the time, 1:45 am. You acquiesced to the fact you were going to get little sleep tonight. You were too worked up, you’d been pacing pretty much since you got home. To be fair though, you reasoned with yourself that this worry could also be because of Broccoli and while the sales assistant had assured you the turtle would be ok, you weren’t willing to risk it. With that thought, you wandered over to his spacious tank and peered in and smiled softly. Broccoli seemed fully recovered and was happily munching on some lettuce, while you silently thanked the chocolate lords from not claiming another soul. Your smile began to fade though as you looked over to your phone, you’d added him to your contacts but hadn’t yet replied. Begrudgingly, you padded over to your phone and brought up that text again:

To: [y/n]  
From: Mark Iplier  
It’s Mark by the way :)

Checking the time again, you decided it was safe to answer, every other sane person would be asleep by now, right?

To: Mark Iplier  
From: [y/n]  
Hey Mark! Just wanted to say you seemed familiar when we met and I can’t believe I met THE Markiplier!

Nope. Delete. You shake your head as you realise you sounded exactly like what he was trying to avoid. Crazy fangirl alert. Thank god for texts you think, you don’t need to send anything until you’re happy with it. Ok, try again [y/n], you can do this without being weird you think.

To: Mark Iplier  
From: [y/n]  
Hey Mark! How was the puppy chow? Not that you are eating it or anything... But y’know what I mean. I’m still so glad PetSmart was open and I’m SOOO sorry for grabbing you in the middle of the night. I mean hello, creeper alert!! :P

Nope nope nopety nope. Not only are you rambling, but you sound like a love struck stupid twelvie. You repress a yawn and decide that maybe sleep is an option tonight. Ok, here we go. Third times the charm. No rambling, no fangirling and let’s just pretend you didn’t recognise him, you check off in your head.

To: Mark Iplier  
From: [y/n]  
Hey Mark! I hope Chica liked her puppy chow, Broccoli is munching a piece of lettuce as we speak, can’t tell you how relieved I am :DD If you’re still up for it, wanna get lunch tomorrow? I know a nice little place near PetSmart if that’s close-ish to you

You list the address and nod to yourself as you press send, you’ll just have to wait until morning now to see. Waves of sleepiness are beginning to crash over to you as you check on Broccoli one last time before flopping into bed. Just as you begin to drift off, the loud vibration of your phone on the bedside table makes you open your eyes.

To: [y/n]  
From: Mark Iplier  
Sounds great m’lady and fellow night owl. Cya 12:30?

Too tired to reply, you still can’t stop the small amount of butterflies that have just formed in your stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the warm welcome! :)  
> This'll just be a short one while I plan out the next couple of chapters  
> I'm going to aim to upload a new chapter every second day maybe? Who knows, depends how you guys like it and how quickly my creativity runs out


	3. Cafe Nonsense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love me a little angst >:)

You wake up with a smile on your face, which lasts all of 10 seconds before you check the time. 12:01. Shit, you somehow managed to sleep through around twenty alarms, ranging from 8 am to about 20 minutes ago. Flying out of bed, you begin calculating. 10 minutes to drive to the café, 5 minutes to feed Broccoli, 15 minutes to get ready. Yes, 5 minutes to spare. You can do this. Quickly feeding the chipper and fully recovered turtle, you run back to your bedroom and stop. Oh god, is this a date? Is this just a thank you? Do you even like Mark? Of course not, you spoke to him for 5 minutes but oh god he’s famous and you have to act natural. Oh god oh no. How fancy do you dress, you don’t want to be over or under dressed. Arrrggghhhh. Realising time is not your friend, you quickly grab a sweater dress and a pair of ankle boots. Running a comb through your [y/h/l] [y/h/c] hair and using a quick sweep of mascara on your lashes you’re bolting out the door. Checking the time before you enter the car, you sigh in relief, 12:17pm. You’re not going to be late, you smile to yourself and relax for the briefest of seconds and begin driving towards the café. Too bad you begin worrying about what to do again. “Ok” you say to yourself. “He obviously doesn’t want a crazy fangirl, I mean if I had YouTube I wouldn’t. Ok, so [y/n] what do you do? Let him know you are aware who he is but don’t really ever watch his videos? No. Tell him you’re not a fan? No that’s just plain rude. Hmmm. Maybe it’s just better to pretend you don’t know him at all and if he wants to tell him yourself, that’s cool? Ok, yeh let’s do that.” With one decisive nod, you park and exit the car, heading towards the café.

Peering into the café, you can’t see him. Checking the time, just to make sure you are definitely on time, you see it is 12:32. He should be here. Maybe he forgot, but how could he? No, he obviously hasn’t forgotten. Maybe he just decided not to come. I mean, who would agree to go anywhere with a crazy stranger who grabbed you at PetSmart late at night. You begin to feel the tickle of tears in the back of your eyes as you sweep them over the café customers one final time. Sighing in defeat, you face the inevitable, he’s not showing and it was just a waste of time. Turning around with the full intention of heading back to your car, you’re shocked to see him standing not 1 meter away from you, smiling sheepishly. Letting out a yelp that would have put his ‘manly’ screams to shame, you back away in shock to not only slam into the window of the café and fall flat on your butt. Embarrassed, you look to the ground only to hear loud chuckles coming from Mark.

“I’m so sorry [y/n] I didn’t mean to scare you, really truly and sincerely!” he says while still laughing, not sounding very sincere at all. You know you have to get up eventually but you hide a cheeky grin from him as you realise a perfect revenge plan. If your stupid party trick of manipulating your double joints were ever going to matter, it would be now. Scrunching your face up and letting out a mighty wail, you get ready for your biggest drama performance yet.

“Ouch, Jesus oh my fucking god. Mark help me please. Something’s really wrong with my finger. It hurts soo much. I think I may have dislocated it” you smile to yourself as the humour on his face is replaced by horror and concern. Time to bring this home. Letting out a quiet whimper, you hold your hand out to him, using your double jointed ‘talent’ to create the illusion you had indeed dislocated your pinkie. He takes one look at your finger before turning pale.

“Ohmygod I’m so sorry, we need to get you to a doctor like right away. You can’t drive. Maybe the store has some ice. Oh what are you meant to do? Come with me, or are you meant to rest?” he rambles, the panic audible in his voice. Deciding to let him out of his misery, you stop wailing, fix your finger and poke our tongue out at him.

“Surprise, guess who just got pranked? Guess you better think next time before scaring someone with double joints, huh?” you smirk. He no longer looks worried, maybe more annoyed. Oh no, had you actually freaked him out that much? This was all solved momentarily when he once again, burst out laughing.

“[Y/n] I officially hate you. You got me, but maybe if we could get off the sidewalk now and get something hot to drink I might forgive you” he grumbled with a smile on his face.

“It’s a deal” as you hold open the door for him and then walk in yourself. “I wasn’t kidding when I said it was my treat y’know, so tell me what you’d like, I’m paying. Especially after that mess.” Mark looks like he might argue about chivalry or being able to pay for himself, but you pre-emptively shut him up with a look.

“Err a skinny caramel macchiato? I know it’s embarrassing but I’m a basic bitch at heart. Don’t tell anyone, ok?” he asks you jokingly.

“Yeh it’s not like I’d tell your fa-” you stop yourself mid-sentence. You nearly said fans, he can’t know you know. Composing yourself, you quickly save the sentence “-mily or friends, I don’t know any of them!” Cringing to yourself, you realise how truly awkward that save was, you have to be more careful. Gesturing for Mark to find a table, you order two coffees and a pizza, I mean when a café has a fully functional pizza oven, it’s practically a sin not to get one. Taking your number you walk over to the corner table for two Mark has found and try to muster as much grace as you can to slide into your seat. “Coffee’ll be here soon, and I got some pizza so I hope you like pepperoni.” You tell him, as he was absentmindedly gazing out the window while waiting for you.

“You doesn’t like pepperoni?” he gestates largely, voice also raising in volume. “Sounds great though, thanks for this, I haven’t been out really anywhere in a while” he smiles at you. He does that an awful lot you think, just smiling. In his videos, here, even after you pranked him. It’s a rather lovely quality you think, and better yet it matches his personality perfectly.

Oh crap. Smalltalk. Umm quick. He’s looking at you. “Soooooo” you begin, already cringing. “Umm, let’s go with the cliché, what’s a movie you like?” God you’re the most textbook awkward fucker on the block.

“Gotta go with Diehard, it’s so good. Have you seen it?” Just then the pizza and drinks arrive, and boy do they look good. Wanting to get tucked in ASAP you answer, in a rambly kind of way, as per your usual fashion.

“No, I’ve always heard it was good though, you know what else movie related I’ve heard is good? Popcorn. Believe it or not I have never had popped corn kernels before.” Both taking a piece of pizza, he looks up at you, surprised.

“Never had popcorn? What?! That’s a felony, a monstrosity! Absolutely ridiculous!” he takes a bite of pizza, confident his point has gone across.

“You know what the real monstrosity is though? How easily you rage at videogames! I mean you have 10 million subscribers by yelling at pixels. I have to admit, I watched quite a few of your videos last night, I was so nervous. You have the dream job maybe, but still it’s crazy! Markiplier the Furious they should call you instead of King of FNAF” you laugh as you go to take a bite, before you feel sickness crash into you. You didn’t mean to say any of that, you pep talked yourself and mentioning YouTube was not on that list. Looking carefully up at Markiplier, you’re startled. He looks confused, scared and angry. You were right, you definitely shouldn’t have mentioned it.

“I, I, I thought you didn’t know. You acted totally normal last night, it was such a relief to meet someone who didn’t know who I was. But oh god, you knew, didn’t you. Didn’t you? You’ve probably written about this on your blog. Or you were going to ask where I lived and tell everyone. Oh God. You were, weren’t you? Don’t get me wrong, I love my fans, but your kind make my life hell sometimes.” He almost shouts, getting more and more worked up. “This was your plan, be nice to the ‘famous’ guy” he puts in air quotations “and then ruin his privacy. Well thanks for nothing [y/n], I thought you seemed genuine, but I was wrong. I have to go, I’m sorry.” He throws a $20 bill on the table before storming out. How had this all happened? You didn’t mean to do any of that. You haven’t even watched any of his videos in about a year, hell you’re not even subscribed!

Feeling confused, and seeing the concerned faces of the other members of the café, you finally allow several fat tears to travel down your cheeks. In only two days you’d managed to meet, kind of befriend, and forever piss off Markiplier. At least you’re never going to see him again you think as you pay for your food and head back home, fully intent on eating a pint of ice cream as you cry at a cheesy rom com.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the kudos guys, it means a lot!! I promise they'll make up soon, but I'm taking on some suggestions for where you'd like to see them go out? Another fun outing, the more romantic and cheesy the better :D


	4. The Video that Shall not be Named

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long! I got gross sick where you have to sleep for ageesss then over xmas I was so lazy. Well thank you so much for all the lovely comments! Here's a little more angst and anger :)

Checking your phone, you groan. Still nothing. It’s been two days. Three tubs of ice cream, several too many hours of rom coms and a heap of tissues have been used. Surely this is enough time of self-pity? Man, you didn’t even fancy the guy, [y/n], get it together. You weren’t friends, you weren’t on a date. Why the hell are you so worked up about this?? Oh yeh right, because he was a total asshat, embarrassed you loudly in public not to mention completely misunderstood you and wouldn’t listen. Yeh, fuck him. God damn you’re a wreck. You cannot get over this, it’s pitiful. Where’s your strong independent womanly self gone? He embarrassed you, and what did you do? You bloody subscribed to him and binge watched his videos. If the thinks you’re a fan, might as well live up to it. Asshat. Stupid asshat. Stupid funny, attractive, moronic, rude asshat. What a massive bag of dicks. Still, you think morosely, it isn’t stopping you from sitting down now with a cup of [y/f/t/f] tea (as in your favourite tea flavour, because isn’t that just one of the most common acronyms), to watch Mark’s “ **Reading your Comments 5** ”.You sit there for a while, occasionally blowing on your tea to cool it, as he answers questions ranging from favourite ice cream flavour to when the next instalment of Undertale is coming out.

“Ok everyone, looks like there’s time for one more question. Hmmmm. Azels asks “@Markiplier, what’s wrong man? You’ve seemed super angry or agitated in your videos the last couple of days, is everything ok????? We’re here for you Markimoo :).” Thanks for your question Azels, I’ve had this asked a couple of times already, mostly by Jack as in Jacksepticeye, check out his channel, I’ll leave a link in the description as you probably already know who is staying with me for a couple of months before my normal loooosers – er I mean roommates return. To answer your question Azels, I’ve just not had a great week, I’m so so sorry that you guys had to see that, and yes, yes, as I can already see the comments if I don’t expand on this, here we go. Let’s just say I found out someone I thought was pretty bizarre, in a great way don’t get me wrong, was not so great. They crossed a line I never wanted, and I felt pretty betrayed. To be honest, it made me feel disgusted and violated that someone could ever do that to anyone, it was a great breach of what I’m comfortable with and I’m so so glad to say that they’ve been cut from my life. Never before have I said this, but I’m glad I will never see or hear from them again. Again, I’m very sorry this affected how I recorded or my moods in my videos, it is nothing that you guys have done wrong and hopefully from now on, with that off my chest we can move on! So thank you everybody and see you next time!” The outro music begins to play as you sit there gobsmacked. Scrolling downward, you see so many hate comments directed towards you.

“Wow I will totally kill whoever made my Markimoo that sad!”

“What a fuckwit, he’s like the nicest guy ever. Whoever did this must’ve been like the new Hitler.”

“I hope they die.”

More and more comments of hate, wishing cancer, painful death and general anger towards you. How dare he?! He just announced to several million people an absolute lie! He made you sound like you walked out on him at the alter or murdered Chica in front of him. For fuck’s sake, you only wanted to eat pizza and have a chat. You’re not a freaking fangirl, you don’t want to know where he lives, you don’t want anything to do with him ever again. You don’t think you’ve ever been this mad. The attitude this man has, the pompous air, the assumption that you wanted to have anything to frickin do with that sorry excuse of a youtuber! Well fuck him, you think. He deserves to know this.

Storming over to your phone, you thank your previous self for not deleting his number. Furiously, you dial in the number, and pace as you hear it begin to ring. A man’s robotic voice answers “Sorry, the person you have called cannot answer the phone right now, please leave a ten second voice message after the beep.” You hang up before this can happen. So he’s not answering you, fucking fine. At least if you text him he’ll have to see it at some point.

 

To: Asshat

From: [y/n]

How fucking dare you. I wasn’t even subscribed to your shitty channel, I only remembered who you were after you left because my friend used to watch your videos. I didn’t want to freak you out so I tried not to mention it but I forgot. What do I get? No fucking chance to explain and some drama queen YouTube high school dropout who thinks everyone wants to know absolutely anything about his shitty life yelling at me for no god damn reason. Well you know what, complain to your stupid fans who think you’re a god on earth all you want, you waste of space asshat. One thing we can agree on is being glad to never see each other again. Good riddance, and live a lovely narcissistic life before your fans inevitably lose interest, you soon to be washed up jerk.

You press send without a second thought. Almost instantly, you receive a response.

 

To: [y/n]

From: Asshat

The numebr you have tried to contact has blocked you. The message was not received.

 

 **HOW DARE HE?!** You can’t even express your anger. That self-entitled whiney bitch. Wait. He hasn’t blocked you, number’s spelt incorrectly. He’s read it. He’s pretending to be an automatic response. God damn it.

 

To: Asshat

From: [y/n]

I didn’t know automated responses spelt ‘number’ incorrectly. Too scared to face the fact you made a huge fucking mistake? Typical. Hide behind a screen and think everyone wants to kiss the ground you walk on. Goodbye, you are honestly one of the worst people I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting.

 

Sent. No response. Fine. It’s only now you feel the anger leave you, like a wave breaking, it exits your body in one fell swoop, making you feel shaky and exhausted. Feeling tears once again prickle at the back of your eyes, you will yourself to calm down. You’ve cried far too much already about a man you hardly know. Tea is just not going to cut it anymore. Walking towards the kitchen, you open the fridge and grab a bottle of white wine. Sensing a long night ahead, you opt to drink it out of the bottle rather than a glass. Taking a swig, you go and grab Broccoli, before settling on the couch with the turtle beside you. Turning on the T.V., you continue to sip from the bottle. Half way through, you hear the vibrating of your phone. Gingerly leaning over, you finally feel yourself smile as you see the caller ID. It’s your best friend. It’s Clayton. Picking up the phone, you answer.

“Oh my god [y/n] I had to wait a whole five seconds for you to pick up, jeez. How is my darling? Oh and I guess you too” a small chuckle is heard through the phone. “Does Brocolli miss me? I hope you haven’t been spoiling him, can’t have him liking you more, did I mention I’m coming back in three weeks? I can’t believe this vacation went so quickly…  Wait, [y/n], what’s wrong?” he can hear your sniffles as you try not to cry. Failing to do so, you let out a hiccup-sob.

“Oh Clay, I’ve had the most dreadful week. I met Markiplier.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the lovely comments! Still looking for date place or activity suggestions for later :D Feel free to comment thm


	5. God this took too long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yo happy new year :)  
> I tried American-ising all of this, so if something doesn't make sense, be sure to tell me!

Another three days have passed, no contact from either side. Thank god for Clay you think, remembering back to that phone call with a smile. Although he was the diehard fan and the one to introduce you to Markiplier videos originally, forty five minutes later he’d hopped on the hate wagon with you, being shocked as you told him you were part of his new video. You remember him turning on the video, skipping to the last question and hearing his verbal dismemberment of your dignity and happiness. Giggling at the colourful language that soon followed for at least the next ten minutes, even from hundreds of kilometres away, Clay was able to make you feel better. He better bloody well, what are best friends, or as he likes to say, BF’s, for? Soon your conversation had turned from “The Wankstain” as Clay had dubbed him, to Broccoli, in which you still ‘forgot’ to mention about the panicked PetSmart visit to Clay, to your mutual excitement at his soon return home.

“Have you been feeding him well darling? You know how he likes that wormy stuff, did you buy any?” was the question you were greeted to on yet another telephone with Clay.

“Err no, but is it super necessary? You coddle that turtle more than a child.” The sad thing was, you weren’t even joking, heck you thought it might be rubbing off on you, remembering the panic you had on the night that must not be named.

“[Y/n] yeees it’s important, my two favourite things in the world are currently living in the same house, I’m going to spoil the heck out of you when I get back, so spoil my reptilian baby please. You know I’ll pay you back for whatever you get him. Pamper him a little”, he chuckles a little at the end, before adding “except no more turtle masseuses, he can never sit still long enough.”

“You know it’s a sad thing when I absolutely believe you could have spent money on a massage for your turtle. Ok, so where can I get this quote unquote, wormy stuff? Have you got any in the freezer, do I need to go trekking through a backstreet pond, wading around with a comically tiny net? Where man, where?!” you jokingly emphasise.

“Why yes honey, you have it. It’ll only take a long and dangerously treacherous journey. Firstly, pack your bags, long pants, wellington boots and a heavy coat should be it. Secondly, renew both your and Broccoli’s passports, no he doesn’t really have one before you ask. Thirdly make a trek to the coldest place you can think of and locate the worms, more scientifically known as _wormus thingus_ , and grab around one pound of them. Lastly, trek back outside the coldest of places and pay for your _wormus thing._ ” he concludes.

“Did you seriously just tell me a long winded story about going into the freezer section of PetSmart?” you sigh, while still retaining a smile on your face.

“Why yes, yes indeed I did. They’re called bloodworms, gross I know, but it’s cause they’re red. I hope… they won’t be that expensive. Thanks so much [y/n]! You know I’m taking you out to dinner right when I get back, and I’m bringing back a plethora of lovely tacky souvenirs too, you better be appreciative. Anyway honey, I’m so sorry, I have to go, my go for the karaoke bar, wish me luck!”

Before you can respond, you hear the click indicating he had hung up. You swear sometimes that boy is a flaming homosexual, but you guess you are just lucky for having known him for so long that he feels that comfortable (maybe only after his blood alcohol content was a touch too high) to be his happy, bubbly, turtle obsessed self. Looking at the clock, you groan. Already late into the evening (9:47pm to be exact) you have a bizarre sense of déjà vu. You are perfectly aware you could just wait until the morning, but then again, you’d have to get dressed and go out when people would actually be awake. Due to the whole turtle thing, you didn’t mention to Clay you met Markiplier at PetSmart, but instead lied, saying you met him at Walmart’s after a late night chocolate craving, thinking he was an employee and asking if he knew where the orange chocolate was. It was a similar-ish situation at least. Oh well, what he doesn’t know won’t kill him. Sighing one last time, you prepare to go to PetSmart. Being petty, you’d still checked the next closest shop to find it over an hour away. Wait. What are you doing? You’re being ridiculous, the chance that you’ll see him there again is slim to none. Nodding to yourself, you say goodbye to Broccoli and start heading to PetSmart.

Pulling up in the parking lot, you shiver at the fall chill. Maybe you should’ve listened to Clay when he said to wear a coat. Oh well, too late now. Walking quickly into PetSmart, you sigh. You need to get to know this place better. Where the bloody hell is the freezer section? This place is massive. Urgh. Ok, find an employee. An actual employee. Urgh, [y/n], calm down, it was an accident, and he’s definitely not here right now. Ok, just to be safe, avoid the dog areas. Not like you’re trying to avoid him or anything. Not at all. Target acquired. Man in PetSmart uniform, bending over looking at the lower tanks of fishes. Ok. Here we go.

Clearing your throat slightly, you ask “um sir, do you please know where the freezer section with the blood worms is here?”

He turns around. Well shit. “Ah no sorry laddie, I don’t work here, also don’t live here, but that wasn’t the question. Anyway, I think it might be somewhere over there?” he says in an Irish accent, pointing behind him in a vague direction, but you can’t take your eyes off his neon green hair. Just your fucking luck.

“Jacksepticeye?” you ask, hoping to anything that there just happen to be two people who look similar with Irish accents, happening to be staying in L.A right now.

“The one and only! It’s a pleasure to meet you, would you like a hug or a selfie?” he asks cheerfully.

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Just my absolute fucking luck. God damn it why this.” You don’t bother to keep quiet saying this, but cannot help feeling slightly guilty at the hurt expression that is now evident on the Irishman’s face. “I have to go. Just… fuck. Fucking fuck. Sorry.” You say, all but running away, in the direction he gestured, sighing in relief when you see the freezer section. Rummaging through the frozen packets, you find the blood worms and while you feel victorious, you can’t help cringing at the absolutely miniscule chance you’ve managed to create. Two not actually PetSmart workers, who both happen to be well known YouTubers. One of which turns out to be the biggest Asshat on the face of humanity and the other who…

Oh. God. Fucking. Damnit.

Jack is staying with Mark. Mark has a pet. Jack doesn’t in this country. Why would Jack be here? If he wasn’t. With. Mark.

Oh. Shit.

He must be here. Oh shit. You have to hide until you see them leave. He can’t see you. You can’t see him. Quick, use your not real ninja skills. Where is the furthest from the dog area?! Perfect, next aisle, birdfeed galore. Hurrying down the aisle, you begin to smile as you see a perfect little gap for you to hide in. Hurrying into it with your packet of frozen worms, you turn around and realise you can just see through to the other aisle, which has pet toys, and if you strain, you can see the checkout. Perfect. You can totally avoid confrontation from here. Hearing someone approaching the pet toys, you remain quiet. They stop in front of the toys, occasionally giving one an experimental squeeze, laughing at the different squeaks the toys create. You are cursed. You are officially cursed, you recognise that giggle from his videos. It’s bloody Jack, and hearing the second pair of feet approaching, you can also hazard a guess as to who it is.

“Heya Sean. I got the pet food, I simply cannot believe how quickly that Puppershnup ate all that food. Do you think she’d like another toy?” Mark’s voice breaks the silence and sqeaking.

“Jesus focking Christ Mark, don’t ya sneak up on me” the Irishman grumbles. “Uuum, I don’t know? Maybe, she has plenty already. Can we leave?”

Seeing Marks look of concern, you then hear him say “Sean, what’s wrong? Still jetlagged?”

“Nah Mark, met a weird fan. They seemed kinda I dunno, panic-y? They saw me then freaked out, swore a lot, then pretty much ran for it. I mean what did I do? I can’t remember them, so I don’t think anything bad ever happened with them. Just made me feel a little like crap.” He morosely squeaked another toy, before turning back to Mark. Training your eyes on him as well, you saw he too, had a panicked and sad look on his face.

“Was this fan a female?”

“Yeh, why?”

“Just gimme me a second. Did you catch a name?”

“Nup, she bolted pretty quick.”

“Did she have [y/e/c] eyes with [y/h/c] [y/h/l] hair?”

“Yes..?”

“Did she ask about me?”

“No?”

“Did she have a turtle?”

“No but she did ask where the frozen blood worms were… so I guess she might have a turtle?”

“Oh shit. Oh no.”

“I’m guessing you know her, cause she reacted pretty much exactly the same.”

“Remember the girl we were talking about with the turtle?”

“Oh shit. That was her, wasn’t it? She’s a pretty one.”

“Really beside the point, Sean. I made the video about her, and I was so so wrong. She said she hopes to never see me again, I was such an asshole. I always talk about wanting to see fans, but I got so paranoid, I was just a big turdhead. How can I say I care about my fans, which she wasn’t even, if I put myself on such a fucking pedestal I assumed she wanted to invade my privacy. I keep insisting I’m not famous, but I have the audacity to act like it. I just wish I could tell her sorry, but she’s probably already gone. Although that might be for the best, she would most likely have the full capability to sock me in the chin for doing that to her. Anyway, let’s just go.”

“Just focking text her you giant goober.”

You don’t hear anything more as they walk away, to what you believe is the checkout. Deeming it safe to leave your hidey hole, you pretend to look at the birdseed while contemplating what you had just heard. Mark was sorry and realised you were right. Well, it might be too little too late, he still really humiliated you and created several million internet enemies for you. But he did sound very sincere. Oh well, it really doesn’t matter anymore, you have a bit of peace of mind at least. And now Clay can go back to enjoying his videos, won’t he be happy. Smiling a little to yourself, you turn around to head towards the checkout, worrying that your worms are beginning to defrost. Heading out of the aisle you hear someone calling your name. Knowing with your recently appauling luck who it is, you turn around.

“Hey [y/n], Sean told me you were here. I thought you’d already left. But.. well… yeh…” shifting his weight between his feet nervously, he clears his throat. “I have a massive apology to give you. What I did was so wrong and out of line, I just got really freaked out, I had a bad fan try and follow me a couple of months back so I guess I ‘m a bit shaky, but that wasn’t your fault and you were being nice and I’m rambling, but I guess” he takes a deep breath in, “that what I’m trying to say is I’m so sorry and if you’d let me buy those blood worms for you, we could maybe retry a drink and pizza again?” He makes eye contact with you, showing his look of worry and vulnerability.

Already having decided your answer while eavesdropping, you smile back at him. “Yeh I’m sorry too for all the anger, and sure Mark, I’d love to go for round two.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the amazing comments! ^.^ makes my day


	6. Just cute stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got sick again :( so sorry for the late update, but here goes. Have fun with this while you can, because buckle up, this isn't lasting long ;) ta ta for now!

One checkout and 10 minutes later, you’re walking out with Mark, making idle chitchat.

“So she really ate that much food in what, four days?” you ask incredulously.

“Yep, pretty much. My puppershnup is going to be the biggest and strongest, not to mention cutest puppershnup around. God, I swear I love Chica more than like, well almost everything. She helps not feeling so lonely as well since I moved into my own place, which the internet doesn’t know, by the way, so y’know, if you could not tell anyone? I mean Matt and Ryan are absolute looosers, but y’know in a good way. I don’t know, it was just getting too crowded after Matt’s girlfriend moved in and Ryan reinflated all of his…” He stops to chuckle for a moment before continuing. “No but I don’t know, I still make skits as often as I can, but I think I prefer the quietness, plus this way none of my fans can possibly ‘surprise me’ at my home. Woow, I just word vomited everywhere, I didn’t mean to. Sorry, you probably didn’t want or need to know all of that…” he trails off.

“Oh no, it’s all great. I can’t wait to write this on my blog tonight” you look back at him, attempting the most psychotic stare possible.

“But… wait… no… serious? [Y/n], huh?” he splutters out, looking extremely confused and uncomfortable.

Bursting out laughing, you break your composure and turn to Mark “my god, you’re too easy to fool. Is there anything else you fall for? I’ll have to remember it to try at a later date.”

“Well I guess you could say I fall pretty easily for gorgeous girls who own turtles and demand veterinary assistance from strangers late at night…” he says, looking at his feet, a light blush spreading across his cheeks.

It was now your turn to blush, and hard. Turning bright pink, you splutter “but, what? No you hated, huh? I’m flattered but, err? Just what Mark?” Unable to form a sentence, you have no clue what’s come over you, or what the heck’s come over Mark?!

You’re broken out of this confusion, when he lets out a deep laugh. “Fucking got you [y/n]. You thought you were the only one who could be tricked, well suck it” as he begins a small but embarrassing victory dance on the sidewalk. “Buut,” he continued, finishing his dance and turning to you. “Were you about to reject me? Me? The great and hansome Markiplier? The one and only King of Five Nights at Freddys? Oh the pain, oh the horror!!” he gesticulates dramatically, and understanding he’s joking, you smile slightly while watching this spectacle.

Before you can answer him back though, you hear an Irish accent say “sorry Mark, but it’s obviously because as the much more handsome out of us two, she’s obviously fallen desperately in love with me, and cannot be with you.” Watching Mark jump in surprise of Jack’s arrival, you can’t help the real blush that blooms on your cheeks as the Irishman throws you a cheeky wink. Turning to Mark, you see he saw the wink and you can’t help but notice the tiniest of frowns that appears on his face for a few seconds. “Look Marky, I waited at the car so you could apologise but Jesus man, you took too long so I figured hey, I’m bored. So yeh, here I am. So you’re the infamous [y/n]? You should have heard how much Mark spoke about you, CONSTANTLY. I mean focking hell, it was constantly I can’t believe [y/n] did that, she seemed so genuine. Blah blah blah. I mean, I don’t get it, he’s had a girl grab his junk before and try following him home, I didn’t get what was so important about this one person who didn’t really do anything. Maybe cause you’re the prettiest stalker he’s had.” Again, he throws you another wink, while glancing at Mark, he’s blushing harder and harder the more Jack talks. “But my god [y/n] when you sent him those brutal and colourful texts, he would NOT shut up about how much of an arse he was. My god. You’ve made the great Markiplier crumble, and for that I commend you.”

Sensing it was your turn to speak, you kind of explode. “Jack ohmigod, I’m really sorry for being rude to you before and Mark I’m so sorry for just y’know the whole mess, I never meant it like that but I can’t believe someone tried to grab your junk and follow you home? I thought you were behaving unfairly but I didn’t know the extremes that people went to, so yeh your reaction was justified. Oh, I’m just sorry to both of you, you guys only wanted pet food.” You take in a deep breath, waiting to see their reactions.

Mark, speaking first, “don’t worry, I was way more out of line, nothing you did was wrong so don’t worry. I’m just glad you could forgive me after I did such an atrocious thing. I’m not sure if you know, but after you sent me those texts about the video, I removed it and reloaded it, editing out the part about you. That was really wrong to bring you into the internet. I might just tell everyone I was a giant goober and made a mistake in the next comments video if you’re ok with that? Just to stop the rabid fans being rude.” You nod your consent, but while you’re doing so, you get tackle hugged by Jack.

“This hug means we’re ok [y/n]”, he mumbles into your ear. Despite Jack being ‘short’, he’s still taller than you, causing his whispers to be muffled to anyone else, and directly in your ear. Hugging him back tightly, you smile to hear him say “I’m glad you made up with Mark, he really was going through a crisis, and being mean just isn’t in his nature. I think you and I will get along just fine.

His hug is comforting, and you relax into it more before mumbling “you smell great by the way.”  

Chuckling a little himself he replies “funny, I was about to say the same thing.” Both laughing quietly, together you simultaneously realise that you’ve probably been hugging for too long on a sidewalk and that Mark was there. Quickly pulling apart, you’re both ever so slightly flushed from laughing and smiling like crazy. Mark doesn’t look too impressed, maybe even slightly angry? Before you can properly analyse the look he was giving you two, he composes himself and returns to his good natured smile again.

“What was all that laughing about Jackaboy?” he asks.

“Oh nothing, I was just telling her where you live so she could get her creepy friends to come and welcome you” he lets out a maniacal giggle, wiggling his eyebrows at Mark.

“I’m never going to live this down, am I?” Mark asks despairingly.

“Not even a slim chance”, you shoot back. Unable to help yourself, you let out a large yawn. Checking the time, you sigh, 11:47pm. Another late night. “Well boys, while it was lovely meeting you Jack and yeh, fixing things with you Mark, I better be getting home. I’m too tired right now, and these worms are defrosting.” Making a face at the packet in your hand, you let out another yawn.

Mark lets out a yawn of his own, before replying “oh yeh, I guess me too and I think Jack is going to crash any second from jetlag. So night, text me when you’re free? We can get drinks and pizza then.” Giving you a sleepy smile, he begins to turn before you have to awkwardly have to clear your throat.

“Um may I have your number again? It may have accidently been deleted in a fit of fury. Like only maybe. Who knows, hahaha…” you trail off your mumble, only to hear Jack begin to laugh.

“Oh she’s a feisty one! I like her, and no wonder you do too”, he nudges Mark, who flushes again. “While we’re at it, you might as well have my number too. I’m sure we’ll see each other again.” Leaning over to grab your outstretched phone, Jack enters his number, smirking while doing so. Passing it back to you, you understand why.

“Mr. Sexy is what you put yourself under? Wow, you’re not lacking in confidence are you?” you smile at him.

“Should I be?” he winks at you for the third time that evening, before turning to Mark. “Get that look off ya face grumpy Mark, I know you don’t like being out this late but we can go now. Gimme the keys and I’ll drive.” Jack was again speaking the truth, Marks face was once again that unreadable emotion. What was it? Maybe he was just tired. Jack, taking the keys gives you another hug, wrapping his arms tightly around you. Breathing in once, slowly and deeply, he lets go. “See ya around [y/n], it was great meeting you.” He then begins to walk to what you assume is Marks car. Turning to Mark, you’re relieved to see his face is once again pleasant. What is that emotion? Oh well. That’s for another time.

“So Mark, gonna give me your number?” you smile at him, attempting to diffuse the weird tension that you can now feel.

“Oh yeh sure. But what am I going to put myself under? Mr. Sexy is taken… hmmm.” He comically places his hand on his chin and begins to stroke it. “Ah hah! I’ve got it, give it here [y/n]” he grins, making his eyes crinkle. Gosh, you think. He has a nice smile.

Tapping away at your phone, he passes it back, a grin evident on his face. You look at the phone, and back to him incredulously. “Are you serious? Really. Wow, you sir have a seemingly bigger ego than Jack.”

“You know it” Mark said back, sending you his own wink. Woah, you were getting all the winks tonight. “You can just change it to Mark if you want, it might be less awkward than explaining to someone why you have that as your contact…” beginning to laugh, he composes himself before suddenly looking nervous. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, he makes up his mind as he leans forward, enveloping you in a hug. “Is this ok, I mean yeh. I just wanted to say goodbye” he rambles softly in your ear as you smile into his chest and hug him tighter.

“Yeh, this is nice, I love hugs” you reply softly as you feel a soft flutter in your stomach. What was that? Shaking your head slightly, it must have been a tummy rumble, maybe you’ll eat when you get home. It’s not really strong, it just comes through softly, and it’s quite pleasant. Hugging him again tighter, you find yourself not wanting to let go. After hugging for noticeably longer than you and Jack had before, you found that apparently neither of you wanted to let go. That was until the drunkard walked down the street.

“OOOh, get a room lovebirds!” he slurred loudly at you and Mark as he passed. Pulling apart quickly, both flushed from embarrassment you say goodnight before heading on your own ways. One thing’s for sure, you couldn’t wait to see them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for putting up with me! Comment and kudos! Also I'd love to hear your theories if you have any


	7. cafe take two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for how late this is.... yeh.  
> School is a butt

It’s been a couple of days since you last saw Jack and Mark but you decide not to watch their videos, sure you’re subscribed but you really don’t want to just turn into a fan. While they’re obviously talented and friendly online personas, you can’t imagine actually knowing someone based on a YouTube account, as so you’re going to strive to separate them from these god like idols to plain humans you can get to know. Which you have been doing a lot of recently, thanks to the constant barrage of group texts the three of you have been exchanging, often despite Jack and Mark being in the same room. Affectionately coined the “Goober Chat”, the three of mostly just try to outmeme each other, with added puns wherever possible. This changed however when you looked at your phone not half an hour ago to Jacks message.

 

To: [y/n], Markimoo

From: Mr. Sexy

Guys I’m hungry. Mark owes you pizza, could we cash it in now?

 

Oh, yeh you forgot to change Jack’s contact, you think chuckling to yourself. Replacing Mr. Sexy with Sean, you now find yourself repeating last week. Quickly getting changed, waving goodbye to Broccoli and hurrying to the car, you drive once again to the café near PetSmart. You arrive shortly, and peering into the fogged café, you catch a glimpse of faded pink and green. At least they’re easily noticeable you think, entering the café and letting the warmth engulf you from the crisp autumn air outside. Approaching the table, you see they are attracting quite a bit of attention, not seemingly from fans, just from their hair colour. Looking up, Jack sees you and smiles, waving you over. “[y/n]! About time you showed up, I’m starving and I missed you”. The Irish man rises to give you a hug, surprising you but you gladly accept it, hugging back fiercely.

“Aw, did Jack reaaalllyy miss me?” you whisper gently to him, teasing.

“Nah, not really. M’just hungry, also call me Sean” he whispers back, laughing slightly. You hear an awkward cough coming from Mark and you realise yet again that you’re probably hugging Sean for way too long. Splitting from him, he pulls out your chair, another surprising gesture. You sit down as Mark begins to rise slightly, looking slightly sad. Whatever he intended on doing, he changes his mind as he sits back down. Weird. Oh wait, was he trying to hug you too? Were you just weird and awkward with Sean? Feeling guilty, you choose to rise yourself and hug Mark, who is still sitting down. He looks surprised but happily hugs back, and while this hug is much shorter, you begin to feel those weird butterflies in your stomach again. Pulling away, you see he is slightly flushed, probably from the cold air drifting in whenever anyone enters.

“Soooooo” you drawl out, “have you ordered yet?”

“Nah, was waiting for you, slowpoke” Mark replies, sticking his tongue out at you playfully. You nod as you examine the menu, pizza is a given, but what do you want to drink? It might be cold outside but for some reason, you can’t shake the craving for a caramel milkshake. Right as you decide this, a pretty waitress comes to your table and asks for the order. Mark orders pizzas for the three of you and a coffee and after jotting this down, the waitress turns to you, asking what you’d like.

“Errrm, a caramel milkshake please.”

Jack’s voice pipes up “oh yeh that sounds great, one for me too please.” The waitress nods and smiles, saying your order will be out shortly. In the meantime, the three of you begin to talk.

“So, anything ground breaking happen in the last two days I don’t know about?” you ask the two guys.

“Oh well yeh I guess you wouldn’t know, the reason my visit this time has been so long is I’m moving here, I finally have a place now but shh don’t tell my viewers yet” Jack responds. You couldn’t be more elated!

“Ohmigoodness really?! That’s so cool, now I’ll get to see you all the time, provided you don’t get sick of me” you babble happily, while Sean nods enthusiastically.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get sick o’ me sooner, and Mark too. We’ll have to work hard at keeping your interest” he laughs.

“Ok then if you insist, what about you Mark?” you ask, seeing he isn’t that animated.

“Oh no, nothing really. I’ve been helping Sean move in and that’s about it I guess” he trails off.

“Well if this isn’t a gloomy environment” Sean states, “what about a game or something, it’s more interesting than idle small talk.”

Marks interest seems piqued as you excitedly say “what about a kind of truth or dare? Whoever asks the question doesn’t answer it but the other two do and the most interesting answer or dare completed can choose where we go out later?” you ask the two men. Both nodding their heads in assent, you begin. “Truth or dare?”

Sean says “truth” almost right away, so you stop to think of a pretty generic question.

“Ok, relationship status?” you ask cheekily, not that you’re interested in them, just curious.

“Oh god so single.”

“More single than a lonely broken pringle.” Sean and Mark answer respectively.

“Ok then, one of you guys then, how about you Mark?” you smile at him as he gently smiles back.

“Ok goobers, truth or dare?”

“Let’s be lame, truth” you tell Mark.

“Ok, both of you say something I don’t know about you.”

“Mark, what don’tcha know about me? Ummm, well you know this but you may not have realised, the other day I offered to drive and you gave me your keys despite knowing I can’t drive at all, as y’know don’t have my licence and all that. Which was amusing I guess” Jack finishes, as Marks face turns from expectancy to confusion to realisation.

“Oh my god, yeh I did do that. Wow. I must’ve been pretty distracted, I wonder why.” You feel yourself flush slightly scarlet as you remember that long hug, and the hollering drunk.

Shaking your head slightly to clear your thoughts, you answer with “well I guess you might call this weird but I work in a morgue for police investigations and stuff like that. I’m currently on leave for a while though. So yeh, don’t be grossed out.” The two guys look surprised, but not disgusted. Before they could answer however, your food arrived. Two pizzas, a coffee… and one milkshake with two heart shaped straws. Within the five seconds of the food being placed and you realising this, the waitress was already gone, so you were truly at a loss. You look up to make eye contact with Sean, who looks as befuddled as you are. “Did they miss one?” you ask.

“Well if they did, why are there two love heart straws in this one?” Sean points out the obvious. “I don’t know what’s going on, maybe she accidently combined the two. We can share with the two straws if you don’t care, I don’t so that’s fine [y/n]?” he asks.

“Yeah that’s totally cool, plus I’m starving so let’s just share” you agree.

“No.” You turn surprised to see a slightly pissed off Mark. “You guys shouldn’t share, it isn’t what you ordered. You wanted separate cups. Separate.” He emphasises. You and Sean both protest but Mark is insistent, loudly calling “waitress!” making you cringe slightly.

The girl hurries over, and with a smile asks “are you enjoying your meal, is anything a problem sir?”

“Yes, there is, we ordered two milkshakes, not one and not with two straws.”

“Oh, I know sir, this is the couple’s milkshake order, and it has two serves in it and I assumed that your two friends wouldn’t mind because they’re dating.”

You and Sean, who both had mouthfuls of pizza nearly spat them out as you both turned violently red. “No no, we’re not together, why did you think that?” you asked her once you were in full composure again.

The waitress looks surprised and mortified at this revelation. “Oh no, oh goodness I’m so sorry! I just saw you walk in and he hugged you for quite a while and pulled out your chair, it looked very romantic to me. I’m dreadfully sorry, I’ll get you another cup immediately and you won’t be charged for the milkshake…”

You cut off her rambling “oh no, don’t worry, we’re fine sharing and it was an honest mistake. You’re fine and thank you.” You smile at her while turning over the thought, _did it really look like Sean and I were dating?_ After assuring her several more times, she leaves and you turn to Sean. “You don’t mind sharing do you? I assumed you didn’t.” Sean assures you that’s fine and you begin to eat once again. Again, noticing Mark hasn’t said anything, you turn to him to still see that ever so slightly ticked off expression. “Are you ok Markimoo?” you ask gently.

He snaps out of whatever he was thinking about and grimace smiles at you. “Just dandy, I just think they should be more professional about assuming relationships.” You nod, acknowledging his point before urging him to once more eat. Going to grab the milkshake, you touch hands with Sean, who had the same intention.

“Ladies first” you say as you pass the milkshake to Sean.

“There are two straws anyways, we can just drink at the same time if you don’t feel awkward.” He replies, holding it between the two of you.

“Why is that a dare?” you tease, as he nods and Mark vigorously shakes his head no. “Aw Marky, don’t be a spoilsport, it’s harmless.” Mark mumbles something under his breath as you and Sean both go to drink. If it wasn’t for the straws, everyone would think you two were kissing, maybe you could see why the waitress made the mistake. Looking up, you make very close proximity eye contact with Sean, his crystalline blue eyes staring back with intensity. Or at least they were before he went cross eyed and nearly make you spit milkshake out your nose. Pulling back and laughing you say “A. you are a mean person, but B. you have very pretty eyes Sean”

He laughs too at that, and responds “thanks [y/n], your eyes are lovely too.”

Turning, Mark looks positively crushed, but changes to happy once he sees you looking at him. Sensing he felt like a weird not-actually-third-wheel, you stand up to pull him into a quick hug and whisper in his ear “you’re very pretty too Mark, don’t worry.” Looking visibly more pleased, Mark, Sean and you finish the rest of the meal fairly uneventfully, you and Sean continuing to share the milkshake. Nearing the end of the meal, you bring up “ok, so who gets to choose where to go? Who won?”

Mark and Jack look at each other before simultaneously saying “you.”

“Just because I cut up dead people, oh well, I’ll take it. Well then you two, let’s pay and head off, we’re going ice skating!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comments! Suggest what you want to happen, also I'm looking into starting a septiplier fic so comment some prompts!! ok bye


	8. the plot thickens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi, I know I'll never have a regular upload schedule, but meh! Leave me comments what you'd like to see happen.  
> Also with the finger chop off thing that Sean says, I legit saw this happen the first time I went ice skating :(

Your suggestion was eagerly accepted as the three of you finished your food and drinks, Mark still acting strangely over the milkshake. Still insisting on paying however, he left and approached the cash register as you and Jack exited the café. Shivering at the sudden briskness of the air outside, you hoped Mark would hurry. Surrounded b the falling of the leaves, you felt quite serene, zoning out to only be quite startled by Sean clearing his throat. “So err, hey [y/n] I know I sounded really excited before but I don’t actually know how to ice skate. The first time I went when I was about to go on the ice, some kid legitimately fell over and his friend sliced off half of his pink finger. Eugh, so much blood. Never wanted to go on again. Still don’t really….” He trailed off.

“Oh gross Sean that’s disgusting. Ew. But ‘know if you don’t want to go, we can go somewhere else, it’s total fine if you’re not comfortable with it. Or we could compromise. If you come ice skating, not only will I be your glorious helper, but you can decide where we go next and it can be out of my comfort zone. Sound ok?” He nods happily at you, before flashing a devilish grin.

“Oh boy are you going to regret saying that. Ok what about a strip club?” innocently smiling at you as if he had suggested a carnival.

“I, I.. N- wha?” you splutter at him, turning away from him in embarrassment. Oh god what have you gotten yourself into??

Sean once again grins, asking you “or would you prefer somewhere more private?” this time, however his voice seems more sultry as he winks and it hits you – he’s joking. God, he got you. Peering into the café, Mark seems to be heading towards the exit. He looks happier than before you think as he flashes you a smile from inside. Smiling back, you turn to Sean once more. Now that you realise it’s a joke, might as well play along.

Stepping quite a bit closer to Sean, until you’re most definitely invading his personal space bubble, you lower your voice to sound sexier. “Yes, that sounds like such a better idea. Why don’t you invite me back to yours? I could throw you a show of my own, guaranteed to be hotter than anything you’ll ever see those girls doing. And it’ll be so much more… intimate. Perfect for what I have in mind for you, you bad boy.” Sean luckily realises you’ve caught on and you can tell he’s trying not to laugh, his ears turning redder by the second. It’s then you see Mark, who had silently exited the café, staring at you, looking rather pale and shocked.

“I, uh, err… What? Did I interrupt something you two. Are... are you guys, umm like together?” with each word, Mark looks more and more crushed. You wonder why, but before you can properly contemplate this, both your and Sean’s composures are broken, causing loud and sporadic fits of giggles.

“Oh god no Markimoo, we were just foolin’ around, don’t worry, ya not going to be third wheelin’ any time soon.” Jack explains through his laughter.

Looking strangely relieved Mark starts a quiet chuckle of his own, but it didn’t seem completely genuine, you thought with worry. “Ok, so if I give you guys the address, wanna meet there? I have my car.” You ask Mark.

“If you’re not going to get a ticket, why don’t you just come with us? Sean’s a useless navigator anyway”.

You agree to this and start to presumably walk towards Mark’s car. The walk was quick, short and silent albeit for Sean’s gleeful cry of “Shotgun!” when you got to the car. Opting to slide in behind Mark to be able to easier talk to Sean, you give some directions to Mark and you begin on your way. Soon into the journey Sean, turning in his seat to look at you says “jokes aside [y/n], you should come over to my new place, I’ll be ready to move in permanently in less than a week. I was thinking of having a housewarming party. You could invite someone as a plus one, I’m interested in the friends you make, because so far, 50% of them are godlike and in the finest of taste, while the other 50% are total losers.”

He pointedly looks at Mark who huffs an indignant “hey” before turning back to you.

“Yeh that sounds amazing Sean I’d love to” you reply cheerfully. “Oh, but what do you want as a housewarming gift. Please don’t say nothing or I don’t have to, because if you do I may strangle you. I want to.” You affirm severely.

Sean seems to think for a minute before answering. “Err, I don’t really know. Maybe something for the walls, like some art? Nothing big or expensive though please.” Nodding your head and smiling, you know exactly what to get Sean, and who your plus one is going to be.

Interrupting your thoughts, Mark says a cheerful “here!” as he pulls up in the parking lot. All smiling like children, you quickly exit the car, pay for entry, and lace up your shoes and all of a sudden you’re ready to go out on the ice. The rink is relatively empty, with cheesy music playing softly on the speakers. You guess this kind of atmosphere is good for Mark and Sean as they won’t get interrupted by fans while trying to relax. With a toddler beginners class being essentially all the people currently on the rink you thank your lucky stars that it wasn’t crowded for what is going to be the abysmal attempt at your lesson for Jack.

“Ok, first of all, Mark you can skate right?” you ask the man, you nods in affirmation. “Excellent, why don’t Sean and I catch up in a second? I’m going to help him, don’t worry you pick it up very quickly” directing the second half of that sentence to the nervous looking Irishman. Mark looks curiously at the two of you before going stony faced and walking over the rink, before taking off, circling the rink slowly. Smiling back at Sean the two of you approach the ice. “Ok Jackaboy, grab onto the side and step onto the ice.” Sean does as told as you explain the movements for skating as he nods unsurely. “Hey, don’t worry, if you fall there’s no one around to get your fingers” you poke your tongue out slightly as he chuckles. Nodding a little as he lets go of his iron grip on the side wall, he promptly, and comically falls over. Hearing laughter from across the rink, you see mark squatting down on the ice with laughter. Sean flips him off good naturedly and scrambles back up. “Need some help?” you ask, repressing your laughter as a good teacher should.

“Yes please senpai” he jokes with you, your resolve too breaking as you giggle a touch.

“Ok, do you trust me?” you ask him, holding out a hand.

“Yes Aladdin, yes I do.” He takes your hand as you lead him into the middle of the ice where Mark approaches the two of you. With cheesy disco music playing through the speakers, he dances around you, making silly faces, offering advice and general making a fool of himself, causing the sound of laugher to echo throughout the rink. Sean soon gets the hang of skating and releases your hand, to which Mark cheers proudly and enthusiastically at and tentatively skating around, to you and Mark cheering him on.

After around an hour, Sean declares himself to be “cold as balls” and retreats from the rink to warm up. Still neither particularly cold nor tired, you turn to Mark, who had been skating alongside you for a while. “You’re really good at this, y’know. Especially the dancing, still not as cheesy as mine, but pretty darn good.”

He smiles warmly at you, before loudly saying “what do you mean not as good? I’ll have you know my dance moves are the very best, the very worst and the cheesiest in the land!” he exclaims loudly, flourishing his point with a turn.

“Very well then, I challenge you Markimoo, bad dancing king to dance the next song with me. Worst best moves win. Agreed?”

“Agreed.” Fully expecting yet another 80’s disco song, the surprise is evident in both your faces when a slow dance comes on.

Turning to Mark, you see his ear, nose and cheeks are tinted pink, you assume from the cold, as you ask him “still want to dance?”

Nodding shyly at you, he grabs his hand, surprisingly soft and warm despite the ice rink as he pulls you closer. You can smell his cologne, and you feel yourself blush as those weird butterflies return. Spinning around in slow circles, you lose track of time, enjoying the serenity and Mark in this moment. Eventually you look up, to see Mark staring down softly at you, the ghost of a smile teasing his lips. Releasing you for a spin, you miss his warmth, but you soon return to his warm embrace again. This time, you open him up to spin, as he chuckles and complies, although the height difference proves problematic as he tumbles to the ground, pulling you down with him. Both laughing, you simultaneously stop as you realise your faces are only centimetres away from each other. Staring into your eyes, you see his crinkle in a smile as you realise you don’t actually mind where you are right now, why in fact you could lean down just a touch and… no. No no nope.  What are you thinking?

Panicking and scrambling up, you’re now straddling Mark, even fucking worse. Both of you, who are flushed bright red at the situation you’re in and thankfully distracted by an Irish voice shouting “oi Marky, get over here!” Assisting Mark up and not making eye contact, you both skate back to the entrance, when you realise neither you nor Mark had let go of each other’s hands. Letting go quickly, you step on the solid ground to see Jack talking to three young women around your ages.        

“Hey Marky, I found some fans and said you were here too. Hope you don’t mind?” Mark assured he didn’t as he happily agreed to take some photos with the girls. Standing awkwardly to the side, you couldn’t help but notice the three of them were looking at you. They must have seen your and Mark’s incident, as you begin to blush again. Two were looking at you curiously, but one was shooting veritable daggers with her eyes. Once they’d finished photos, you approached Mark’s side, who turned to smile at you. You smiled back, as the one looking at you angrily before narrowed her eyes.

“So are you Mark’s girlfriend or something?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the comments, kudos and support!!


	9. Author's Note - Hello my lovelies (skip if reading story)

So hasn't this been a long hiatus!  
I have no excuses other than I lost my passion to write, so it really got shoved on the back burner, but you all still are reading and commenting and liking it and oh my lovelies it has warmed my heart!  
So coming soon..... ANOTHER CHAPTER!!  
That's right, it begins again :)  
I promise no deadlines or set updates, it'll depend on how I go but thank you all so much for your support despite my leave of absence

Until next time,  
Azels xx


	10. Ice Skating and Clingy Fans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to give suggestions for future chapters and feedback is always appreciated!

“What?! No... I. Huh? Ew, no I would never!” you blurt out. You hate being put on the spot like that, you were just so frazzled by that death glare. What even was her problem?  
“Ew..?” Mark looks at you with a little bit of hurt in his eyes, why on Earth did you say that?  
“Err not ew, but like no we’re not dating?” you end up phrasing that more like a question, in an attempt for Mark to realise what you were trying to say. He seemed to understand, and didn’t look as hurt, but the angry girl didn’t seem to at all.  
“So what does that even mean? Are you or aren’t you?” At this point her two friends just looked embarrassed by her obvious aggressiveness towards you… You were beginning to understand why Mark was so agitated after you admitted you knew who he was, this girl was a prime example of what he tries to avoid.  
While you stand there blankly, trying to form the words your brain is churning out, Sean does it for you. “Is it really any of your business?” he asks the girl, trying to remain polite yet firm. He flicks his eyes towards you and gives you a small smile, which you return gratefully.  
Promptly turning bright red, it was now she that began to splutter “oh... um, it’s just- I mean like they were slow dancing before and like they fell on each other! Plus like we’re your fans, we have a right to know… I mean it’s because of our views that you’re paid to do YouTube and…” she trails off. Uh-oh, you realise. That was a big mistake on her part, and judging by the way Mark and Sean stiffened up as she said that, you realised they were about to get very angry.  
“Ok, Mark, Sean, calm down. It’s ok, she’s just curious.” You look pleadingly at them, and their anger seems to drain away. Go you, crisis averted. You turn back to the girl, who looks a mix of pissed off and embarrassed. “For the record, we’re all just friends but for your own good if you want to stay on a YouTubers good side, don’t ever dare assume you’re entitled to invade their privacy. There is a big difference between presenting themselves as YouTubers, as a job, as a business that provides enjoyment to many fans, and assuming because they operate as a public business you are entitled to them on a personal level. You are not, and never will be, and because of attitudes like yours, you will probably never be able to develop your relationships to these people beyond a selfie and helpless fangirling. So I hope you think about that in the future. These kind, talented, amazing YouTubers are fucking people, not some commodity or piece of meat. Go and enjoy the ice skating, it was pretty fun.” You finish and walk away, slightly smug about the gobsmacked expression on her face. Hearing the boys quickly following, you go to the stands to remove your skates.  
“Jesus focking Christ [y/n] that was something else!” Sean exclaims once you all were out of hearing distance of the girls.  
“I was just trying to say something I knew you guys may have wanted to but never could. Too far?” you ask, untying your skate and cringing in preparation for their affirmation.  
“No!” they almost shout simultaneously.  
“That was one impressive show” Mark answers. “I think it was blunt, but not something I haven’t wished to say, and have said to you, before. [Y/n], you are a forced to be reckoned with!”  
“Yeah, with Marky 100%. You sure are feisty… I knew I liked ya!” Sean replies, playfully slinging an arm around you.  
“Oh I wouldn’t be so sure. You haven’t even seen me angry yet!” you retort, with a gleam in your eye.   
Sean fakes looking scared, retreating his arm and whispers “remind me not to get on your bad side…” You and Mark both chuckle, but quickly lose the cheery atmosphere when you see the girl approach the three of you again.  
Gingerly approaching you, she stops and clears her throat. “Um. So. I err… I wanted to say I’m so sorry to all of you. I really needed that, so I’m here to thank you. I not only shouldn’t have assumed but I shouldn’t have pushed. I’m nothing but a stranger to you, and you’re practically a stranger to me so I can never apologise enough for the violation of privacy I insisted upon. So um yeah… I’m not asking for a selfie or a hug or anything. I bet that’s the last thing you’d want to do right now… So I’ll just be leaving.”  
She moved to turn away, but you stand and catch her sleeve. “Hey…” you trail off. “Um, what you just did, that was very good of you to do, I know it must’ve been hard after I really chewed you out. One bad action doesn’t make a bad person, or a bad fan if you develop and mature from here.” You turn to the boys who nod their heads at you. You smile slightly as you say “we all accept your apology.”  
A smile of relief washes over her face as she listens to you “thanks, I never expected to be forgiven. You are all really decent people. It’s Melanie, by the way. But I’ll get back to my friends now and let you enjoy your day. Thanks again!” As she walks off you all look at each other with slightly bewildered expressions.  
“Well that was a rollercoaster” Sean sums up, which promptly leads you all to burst out laughing.  
“Are all fan encounters that crazy?” You asked after the giggles had subsided.  
“Some of them yeah. Did you know once some thirteen-year-old was so mad because she thought my brother’s wife was my secret girlfriend? She was yelling down the streets how she had saved herself for me… It was so disturbing and I got so many dirty looks. But to answer your question, generally no nothing like that.” Mark replied.  
“Ew man that’s so creepy. Enough of that, I’m bored and it looks like ice skating is done with now, so let’s play truth or dare again. We didn’t really do a whole heap last time and [y/n] there’s a whole list of things I wanna make you do…” the Irishman wiggled his eyebrows jokingly at you as you laughed and pushed him slightly. “And Mark don’t even get me started on you”, he turned to Mark blowing him a kiss, to which Mark pretended to catch and place on his heart.  
“Oh you’re on Seany. Triple truth and triple dare each round, if you choose a wimpy question or dare, you must do one the other two decide. Deal?” he looks at you two as you both nod your head eagerly. “Ok, I’ll start, truth or dare?”  
You and Sean look at each other and nod your heads decisively. “Truth.” “Dare!”  
You laugh. “Well that didn’t work as well as it could have. You choose then Mark”  
“Hmmm… ok let’s start easy with a truth. Hmmm… what do I want to know. Ok, which Disney character do you find the most attractive?”  
“Jasmine in that red outfit. My god.” Sean replies immediately before glancing at the two of you. “What..?” he asks to your surprised expression. You and Mark look at each other and can’t help the eruption of giggles that follow. “No seriously… what?” Jack asks you, beginning to laugh as well.  
“Needed to think about that one, didn’t you?” Mark says, wiggling his eyebrows.  
“Hey, I’m a guy who knows what he likes.” As Sean says this, he turns to obviously wink at you.   
“Why I’m flattered Sean, but I’m not sure how I’d look in that outfit” you playfully retort.  
“You’d look better!” Mark yelps out, before turning red. “I, uh, I mean… You’d be ok I guess? Not that it’d be appropriate for you to wear something like that…” he trails off.  
“What do you mean it wouldn’t be appropriate for ME?” You ask him, slightly hurt.  
“Well you know… It’s like, um. You know. Like, uh…” he stops, looking to Sean for assistance.  
“He’s trying to say you’d look good in that outfit but he’s digging himself in to a hole.” Sean replies helpfully, grinning at how uncomfortable this makes Mark.  
“Oh. Ok. Thanks Mark” you smile at him slightly, and as he smiles back, looking relieved and embarrassed you feel that strange fluttery feeling again. Huh. Weird. Snapping out of it you say “Milo Thatch, he’s so dorky and adorable.”  
“Oh man Atlantis was such a good movie. I haven’t seen it in years” Sean says, with Mark nodding in agreement. “What about you Mark?” you ask, smiling encouragingly.  
“Oh. Uh. Esmerelda. She’s pretty neat.”  
You all sit in silence for a moment before Sean pipes up with “Where’s a place you’ve never been but secretly want to. But it’s so mildly secret that you’d pretend to not want to go.”  
Mark thinks for a while. “Like a spa? It sounds relaxing to be massaged and stuff. How about you Sean?”  
“Err I guess I’d like to go to a bunch of those giant things. Like the touristy gimmick stuff? Like Australia has this massive sheep and a banana and there’s a potato somewhere. It sounds dumb but fun.”  
“Ok. Don’t laugh, but a strip club. This is only the tiniest amount of curiosity as I’d most likely find it disgusting, not because of the strippers there but because of the customers. Like I have mad respect for any stripper in this world, living with that stigma for no good reason. But I don’t know, ever since Magic Mike it seems like it might be ok to go to once…”  
You trail off as you see Sean’s Cheshire cat grin. “So [y/n], remember how you said you’d go anywhere cause we went ice skating..?”  
So this is why you find yourself back at home and getting ready to go to a strip club several hours and a lot of mild protesting later. Mark was surprisingly ok with the idea, and Sean knew that despite your protesting you were mildly curious so here you are. If you were going to go to a strip club, you were going to go hard and show Sean how you can be slightly passive-aggressive and have fun at the same time for making you do this. Hence, your purse was stuffed with $1 bills, you were wearing a clingy cocktail dress and you were applying your last coat of mascara as you waited for Mark and Sean to show up in the Uber. You hear your phone chime and turn to look at it:

To: [y/n]  
From: Mr. Sexy  
Here!!! :))))))))

Sean was far too pleased about this. Oh well, somehow, you’ll find a way to embarrass him before the night is over. Checking your appearance in the mirror, you deem it acceptable and check on Broccoli, who seems content, before heading out the door to the street. Stepping out in to the cooling night air, you see the Uber.   
As you approach, the back seat door opens and you see Sean as he yells “get in loser, we’re going stripping!”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a kudos and a comment, it really makes my day :)  
> This is in no way real, I just love fluff and love confessions (and who doesn't love a little Markimoo?)


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